Binge eating and a lapse of motivation

Last night was full of tossing and turning. I don't why my sleep was so interrupted, but it was not enjoyable considering I had to be up 6:30 for a run with Rachel. I was completely unmotivated for my morning workout. Usually, that leads to an unbearable run that drags on forever. I toughed it out and completed my 5 miles. It ended up being very energizing. Rachael lives on top of a huge hill, and it was my goal to run up it without stopping. Don't get me wrong, we definitely took our time running up the beast of a hill; I kept my head down the entire time because I knew the sight of the incline would be enough to make me want to walk it. I'm so proud to say that we conquered the hill and lived to tell about it. I didn't expect to leave this morning with any sense of accomplishment, but what do ya know?! I felt so accomplished that I came home and rewarded myself with a 2-hour nap. 

This evening's workout consisted of yoga at the Y. I know that I should do more yoga being that I am a runner, but I am completely ashamed of my severe lack of flexibility. I've been to multiple yoga classes where the teacher has to pull me aside to tell me that I am going to hurt myself if I don't improve my flexibility. It's humiliating and I look like a complete freak show trying to do it. So if you'd like a good laugh, you can join me for yoga on Wednesday morning. I'll be the heifer in the back with bent knees and stiff ankles!

After yoga and a quick trip to the grocery store, I treated my screaming stomach to a banana. I knew I was about to cook dinner, but my nap fell right in the middle of my usual snack time. Not so much to my surprise, the banana just wasn't enough. If I had a reality t.v. show that involved cameras being placed in every corner of my house, you, the viewers, would have been treated to a three minute episode of me raking cold chicken nachos into my mouth. My fat self couldn't even wait 30 seconds to warm them. So pathetic!
Have you ever seen Planet Earth episodes where the mama tiger drags her dead prey back to her cubs, and they prance all over it without hesitation or curiosity to what it is they're putting in their mouths? The only thing they care about is the act of eating, and god knows they've been wanting, waiting, hoping so patiently for it. It was kind of like that- minus the blood and brains. I had to force myself to stop. I wanted to purge immediately upon realizing what I was doing. It wasn't even in my control, and to be honest, I don't even remember getting Blakely's nachos out of the fridge. Perhaps I am the host of some obese, binge eating demon. I'd like to think that was the root of the problem, but realistically, the problem is that I have the appetite of a linebacker and the self-control of a child. Binge eating sprees are old news in my world. For as long as I can remember, I've raided the fridge for random, and sometimes, weird items. In my fat years, it wasn't uncommon for me to fill my mouth with canned whip cream and then eat chocolate syrup off a spoon to chase it down. This is unbelievably humiliating for me to admit... FYI
In my last post, I talked about the importance of putting yourself on a consistent eating schedule. Eating schedules have really helped me control the binge eating beast that lurks within, but it's not uncommon at all for me to occasionally feed the beast. All I have to say for myself is that I am glad it was actual food and not whip cream with a chocolate syrup chaser or a mouth full of shredded fiesta blend cheese. I decided that it would be best to wait a little while before cooking dinner since the beast was temporarily satisfied. Falling off the wagon for a brief eating spree isn't the end of the world. Stop, drop the chicken leg, and get back on the saddle. Regardless of my fat spell, I did very well today. I even traded in a chocolate dipped cone for my homemade granola. I never said it would be more satisfying, but it's obviously the healthier choice.

In less fat news, I've found several really great and healthy recipes on Pinterest this week! Here they are for your not-so-guilty viewing/stealing pleasure!

Tomato and avocado salad with cilantro-lime dressing

This was an awesome snack this week! I will definitely be making this more!

Garlic chicken with a brown sugar glaze

This was dinner tonight, but honestly, I don't know how I felt about sweet chicken. It's a Weight Watcher's recipe, so ya know it's easy and a much healthier option! 

Roasted cabbage

This was an awesome side with my lemon/garlic chicken earlier this week! 

And for dessert... 

The most amazing thing I've ever eaten!

Whether you are just getting started in your journey to lead a healthier life or you're 5 pounds shy of your end goal, I wish you the best of luck in the days ahead! Follow me on Pinterest for more motivational pins and delicious recipes!

Here is the only thing important or relevant Gwyneth Paltrow ever said to motivate you this week: