A Sunday Well Spent Brings a Week of Content

This week... oh this week... For those of you who do not live in Alabama, the weather this past week has been uber depressing. Even in the dead of winter, it is usually sunny and "warm". Our definition of cold in the South is horribly skewed. As someone who has ventured to Denver and Wyoming in the months of January in March where the temp has been in the negative degrees, I beg to differ that this weather is as cold as make it out to be. This weekend, luckily, has been absolutely beautiful. It is sunny with a high of 55 today, and fully plan on taking advantage of it by running this afternoon.

I went to my usual Saturday WOD at the gym, followed by the Olympic Lifting class they recently started. Saturday WODs are usually brutal, but yesterday was different. It was still challenging, don't get me wrong. Any time I see "50 minute AMRAP" of anything written on the whiteboard, my heart immediately sinks into my stomach. In teams of 3 or 4, we had to hold 135 barbell while alternating on the rower. The hardest part was maintaining my grip. I decided from the beginning that this was a mind of matter workout. Rowing it my strong suit, and I consider myself able to hold somewhat large amounts of weight, but could I do it for 50 minute?! We were ten minutes in before our forearms were shaking. We tried holding it in the deadliest position for as long as we could, but we ended up changing positions several times. At one point, I was holding it in the back rack position. We also thought putting it across one should would be a good idea. We were so, so wrong. We got through it, though! I also stayed and worked on some snatch work at the OLY class. Depletion. That's the only word I can come up with for how I felt at the end of it all.
Today I can hardly lift my chapstick to my lips my forearms are so sore.

Captures us perfectly

The majority of the population that doesn't have to work on Sunday spends the day lounging, sipping an extra cup of coffee, or maybe catching up on chores around the house. To me, Sunday is the most important day of the week. It's a new beginning, if you will. Sundays are the day I choose to whether or not I am going to have a healthy week. I spend the day meal planning, shopping, and prepping. It takes a little while to perfect the routine, but I promise you that investing time into preparing your meals will payoff. For the last 4 years, I brought a spinach salad with carrots, broccoli, guacamole or hummus, and a fruit with me every single day for lunch. It really didn't bother me because I could throw it together in the morning relatively quickly and be on my way. Since starting Paleo again, I am putting more emphasis on including protein in each of my meals. I know I can add chicken or any other type of meat to a salad and spice it up with various toppings. But for the love... I am OVER salads! I spend a few hours every Sunday preparing my lunched by cooking meat and roasting vegetable to take for lunch, rather than having to throw a bunch of rabbit food in a bowl and call it a day.

It gets a little crazy in my kitchen. 

I also prepare breakfasts and snacks on Sunday. Blakely won't eat leftovers, and I am not too thrilled about warming up something that has been sitting in the fridge for several days for dinner either, so dinner is the other thing we don't prepare ahead of time. I try to do the little, tedious tasks that I know will save me just a few minutes in the morning, like chopping vegetables, pouring sauces, or putting snacks into Ziploc bags. I really value my alone time with coffee before school, so it is worth it to get everything else together ahead of time.

This week's prep included:
-Blackberry chia pudding for snacks
-Egg muffins with zucchini, spinach, tomatoes, and sausage for breakfast,
-Roasted butternut squash and green beans for lunches
-Salmon and crockpot chick for lunches

I actually bought a whole chicken for the first time in my life, which is a ridiculous thing to be excited about... I can smell it cooking and soaking up all of the amazing goodness I added to it. I am praying that it works out because I plan on using the leftover meat for my lunches this week.

Cook, baby, cook! 

I hope everyone has a happy and healthy week! For those that are off tomorrow, enjoy your holiday! 

Accepting the Unacceptable

Blogging has been completely thrown to the wayside. The fall semester was probably the most insane three months of my life. Between graduate school, running Fit Friends, and that other really important thing I do...what's it called? Oh! My JOB, free time has been far and few between. I found myself completely drowning. I was all like...

Surprisingly, this ridiculously dramatic Grey's Anatomy episode is perfectly symbolic of how I have been feeling lately. In case you aren't familiar with this gut-wrenching season finale, Meredith goes all sorts of crazy and falls into freezing cold water. She refuses to save herself, regardless of the fact that she knows how to swim. In my case, you can erase the water and replace it with mounds of frosting, pies, and Christmas candy. 

For the last 6 years, I have considered myself to be a healthy person. Not to toot my own horn, but I managed to shed almost 120 pounds and keep (most of) it off! *toot, toot!* I know obscene amounts of information about nutrition and exercise. Heck, I literally teach a class on these subjects once a week, but I find myself struggling to practice what I preach. 

I was able to continue my Crossfit training throughout the semester even though some days, being run over by a bus sounded more appealing. Running is another story... Much to my surprise, running has recently become the bane of my existence. I posted a few months back about how I was having a difficult time accepting that my love for running was diminishing. 

Let's personify running for a moment: 

Running is my really attractive ex that I still secretly think about from time to time. I miss the way running made me feel. I long so much for the sensation running gave me, but my tastes have evolved.

I am working on improving my performance at Crossfit and putting most of my energy into weight lifting. I try to exercise 5-6 days a week, and maybe two of those days are dedicated to running. I am refusing to run more than 4 miles though because the thought of anything more than that makes my throw up a little in my mouth. For some stupid, crazy, ridiculous reason, I feel a sense of guilt for turning my back on running. Weight was melting off me when I was long distance running. Unfortunately, lean muscle was also melting away. I wasn't able to achieve all that I wanted to at the gym because so much of my energy was spent on running. My goals now are all related to Crossfit. I want to do pull ups and deadlift 200 pounds. Mostly, I want to feel strong and confident in my own skin. Running was making me skinnier but not stronger. 

This has been a HUGE source of anxiety for me lately, and we all know what that leads to... Binge eating! 

Something that I am finding difficult to accept the fact that my weight is increasing. For the past month and a half, I have been maintaining a relatively solid Paleo lifestyle (minus New Year's Eve when I ate all the cookies). I thought my days of binging were behind me. Last time I switched to Paleo, weight fell off me like crazy. That is NOT the case this time around. In the first week of switching back to Paleo, I lost 4 pounds. That was probably because it was two weeks before Christmas and I couldn't stop myself from gorging on Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes and all of my favorite holiday candies, and I've never met a piece of candy I didn't like. I am a month and a half in, and I have gained 5 pounds. How is this even possible?! 

My head tells me that it's  partially due to the fact that I am actively trying to build muscle, which weighs more than fat. I am consuming well over 120 grams of protein a day. I have been running long distances less and lifting more, and I have been hitting PR's like a mad woman. I leave the gym on cloud 9 every time, and then I wake up to my scale that tells me I suck at life and should drown my sorrows in a plate of brownies a la mode. I spent my entire Friday eating last week. I dipped into the leftover Christmas candy and snack cakes at school, left and immediately bought a cupcake on my way home, and then topped the night off with pizza, cheesy bread sticks, and a cookie cake. Blakely was really excited. He is always asking to order pizza but I never let him because I am a monster. It was disgusting, and it is painfully embarrassing to admit. The next day at Crossfit was the least fun day of my life... 

Let's circle back around to my Grey's Anatomy reference. The point I am trying to make is that like Meredith, I have the ability to swim (live a healthy life), but as of recently, I am choosing to drown (be a fat man-bear-pig). I know exactly what I need to do to accomplish my goals. However, I have spent more time self-sabotaging than working to achieve them. This behavior is completely unlike me and it is completely unacceptable. I am accepting that it's unacceptable, and I am choosing to swim. I am taking ownership of the mistakes I have made, and I am deciding to be better. 

Some of the tools that have helped shape this "awakening" include:

The Paleo View Podcast 

Girls Gone WOD Podcast

www.thepaleomom.com

 

Maybe we can get this blog thing rolling again. It is an excellent way to hold myself accountable, so I will include blogging more on my list of things to accomplish in the new year.