Motivation for your Monday

I've seen many bloggers post weekly with inspiring stories centered around their friends' and readers' accomplishments. It goes without saying that I am overwhelmingly motivated by each and every person that has taken the time to contact me to let me know that in some crazy way, I've inspired them.
When I first began this blog, I posted about the people in my life that inspire me to continue this rigorous and completely insane journey that I set out on 4 years ago. My family, my boyfriend, and my friends are my motivation for living a healthier lifestyle. Five years ago, I was obese, lonely, and headed toward a slew of health issues stemming from my poor health habits.
Since middle school, I have considered the backbone of every single decision I've made to be the students I work with. Obviously, I wasn't a teacher throughout middle school and high school, but I generated the most creative excuses for ditching my classes early in order to spend time with my friends in the special education classrooms. The Friends Club was my reason for becoming a teacher. The people I met and the lessons I learned shaped me into who I am today.

I have been working with individuals with intellectual disabilities for over 13 years now. It's the only profession that I ever even considered. It is difficult to explain if you've never known a person with a disability but their determination for succeeding in everything they do epitomizes inspiring. Expectations are pointless in this field; they're constantly shattered.
My fondest memories in high school were not of my own prom or football games with the band. When I look back to my high school days I think about taking the Friends Club to Special Olympics or the annual dance we threw for them each year. Those were absolutely the happiest times in my life.
Now that I have my own classroom, 5 tiny humans that I am so fortunate to call my own, I am still floored by their ability to meet and exceed my expectations. My students are my motivation for everything I do. I owe it to them to be the best person, teacher, protector, and friend I can possibly be.
They are my motivation each and everyday.

A very inspiring story showed up on my Facebook news feed yesterday. The headline read "First person with Down Syndrome Crosses the NYC Marathon Finish line". I was taken back. People with Down Syndrome typically suffer from heart complications and obesity. Jimmy Jenson not only finished, but cheered on his competitors as they passed him along the way. He and his best buddy completed the race in just over 8 hours. If this doesn't motivate you, then I don't know what will.
This is one of the most inspiring people I've ever seen. I am so happy for the attention he is getting because it truly is a remarkable story. Like I said, expectations are pointless.

Today.com's Story on Jimmy

What to expect

Fall has to be every runner's favorite time of year. Until this week, I've taken complete advantage of the cool weather. This week has been somewhat of a recovery week for me. I injured my back last Saturday at Crossfit. For the first part of the week, I could barely bend over, which was horribly inconvenient considering my job requires so much of me physically.

I have slowed down over the last two weeks to make sure I give my body time to recover. As much as I preach about listening to your body, I sure do suck at it. Back injuries are no joke. I've given myself time to heal and I'm back in the game starting today.

I found the absolute BEST health blog of all time. I think I enjoy it so much because the author is around my age and has a passion for running. She is hilarious, insightful, and her advice and workouts are superb! Check out Katy Grace here: Fit Personality
She did a Q&A with one of her readers discussing the changes that happen to your body when you finally kick the weight to the curb and begin to physically see the progress you've been so desperately working toward. No one is asking me any questions but I thought it would be fun to talk about! It might also give you a little extra boost of motivation to think about what's in store for you once you begin your transformation.

For women, the first thing to go are the chesticles. Women fitness magazines and websites preach, preach, preach about increasing cardio workouts if you are a woman trying to lose weight. I did as I was told and began step aerobics and kick boxing 3-4 times per week. I am sure I've talked about my love for both activities. If you have never done either,  you should be forewarned that there is an awful lot of bouncing involved in both, so naturally, there is a great deal of bouncing taking place in the chest area. Those things just bounce away. There's nothing you can do to avoid it, so if you are particularly fond of your lady lumps, you are out of luck!

The next thing to change drastically was my face. I get such a kick out of looking through old pictures and pictures along my weight loss journey because it's like my face is literally melting away. I was never fond of my chin when I was large and in charge. My face is shaped like a crescent moon and I never thought my chin was meant to be part of such an oddly shaped face.
Here is a picture that I made about two years into my transformation. The first picture was taken in 2007, and the next one in 2009.

My brow was so heavy when I was overweight. My nose was even bigger. You can't really tell it in the first picture, but I had a pretty serious double chin. 

Here is a pretty recent picture of my face. 

My apple cheeks are less apple-y, and I feel like my eyes have gotten bigger with less weight forcing them  down. 

You don't really think about how much weight you carry in your face. It's evident to me that I lost it in my forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. 

Obviously, you're abdomen is going to change. That's the point, right? During my high school years, my not-so-guilty pleasures were ice cream, sodas, fast food, and candy. I consumed ALL of these things almost everyday, so there was never any wonder as to why I was SO overweight. 

This was taken in 2005, my senior year of high school. Pre-college days, so I wasn't even at my heaviest in this picture. As you can see, my stomach is pouring out of my skirt over the top of my waistline. The day I could fit my jeans over my stomach, I cried. I didn't understand the importance of toning while losing weight. I really did myself a disservice by not working on my core. I'll get there. I'm  still a work in progress. 

One of the most important things for me was losing the weight in my arms. Let's take a look at these bad boys, circa 2007.

I cringe every time I look at this picture. 

Absolutely no definition. I wore tank tops, against my better judgement, and my sweet friends never had the heart to tell me just how terrible I looked in them. I think I even wore a strapless dress once. My friends are obviously not shallow people. When I first began working out, I lifted very rarely. Pinterest didn't exist at that time. I really didn't have a solid understanding of what I needed to be doing to lose weight, I just knew that cardio was working, so I stuck to it. If I could go back in time, I would have lifted like a machine. Now that I have shed a good portion of the weight in my arms, I lack the definition I so desperately want and struggle to tone the skin underneath. I can tell my strength has improved, but I could have beautifully sculpted arms had I invested in them from the beginning. Learn from my mistakes, people. Ladies, you will not bulk up like a man from lifting weights. DO IT! 

Everything changes when you lose weight. Everything. I have found it difficult to accept this new woman occupying my body because I don't recognize her. It's exciting and scary at the same time. 

This post is probably a little vain. It is always fun to look back at old pictures when I feel like I don't have any more fight left in me. When I'm knee deep in Halloween candy wrappers and wallowing in self-loathing and regret, I look back at these to remind myself why I started in the first place. I wasn't healthy. I was on a death march living that life. I can't imagine myself now had I not opened my eyes to the terrible road I was headed down.

 It takes time, a lot of time, but it is always worth it in the end. Do it slowly. Crash diets are only temporary because you don't have time to learn to be healthy. 

I've said it before: it's a lifestyle change. 

Binge eating and boobs

Before fall break, I really felt like I was getting back on track. I was eating on a schedule, smaller portions, and I was showing a lot of self-control when it came to eating sweets. Like I said, that was before fall break. Fall break hit and was much, MUCH needed! I could tell my poor friends were exhausted at school and they were probably tired of seeing my face, so I hope they are well rested and ready to see me again because I have talked about them NONSTOP! I must secretly miss their sweet faces.
My intentions were to visit my grandparents over the break in North Carolina, maybe do some shopping, but mostly I wanted to rest. You'd think spending four days with folks in their 70's would consist of a lot of downtime, but I was horribly mistaken. My grandmother and I shopped and ran errands everyday. I ran 6 miles one day and wanted to try their local Crossfit, but there was no way I was paying $25 for ONE workout. Child, please.
I have a horrible tendency to splurge on days when I feel like I've really accomplished a lot in a workout. For some odd reason, my fat mind told my body that running 6 miles made me worthy of eating everything in sight. The wonderful thing about Shelby, the town where my family lives, is that it is full of whole-in-the-wall, family owned restaurants. We're talkin' country cookin', the good stuff. Shelby Cafe has to be my favorite. I thought I was being smart by ordering the baked chicken, but little did I know my plate would come smothered in gravy, GRAVY Y'ALL. I don't think I've had gravy in two years before this week. It was heavenly and ignited a fat fire within me that told me to just...keep...eating. The only thing even a tad healthy on the entire menu were green beans that were of course boiled with bacon and ham. Although I knew my body would protest the gravy and meat-soaked beans, I ate like I would never eat again. It was the most delicious food I've ever tasted. I left feeling as though I had just eaten Thanksgiving dinner. Then I ate key lime pie and probably a hand full of Reese's Pieces or something equally terrible for me.
My grandmother and I joke all the time about our sweet tooth. She is the only woman I know that can understand the constant urge to face plant into a pool of Nutella. I remember being so young and watching her drink (yes, drink) an entire cup of M&Ms. Lucky for her, she is 100 pounds at the most. If I weighed that much, you bet I would devour sweets the way she does. I think I gain her weight too when we go on our not so little sweet binges.
It is what it is. I am coming to terms with the fact that we all make mistakes. It's unrealistic for me to have the expectation that I'm going to eat completely clean all the time.

The last night I was there, my aunt and uncle took us to an Italian restaurant across town. We were just finishing out salads when I looked up at my grandpa who was leaning against the wall holding his chest. His color was pale, and he looked very clammy. I asked several times if he was alright, but he just couldn't say anything. My grandpa has Alzheimer's but he has never had heart problems. I immediately called 911 and went to every single table in the restaurant asking for Aspirin. People crack me up. At least five of the tables I went to said something like "we don't have Aspirin, but I have Tylenol". I'm not asking because I have intense period cramps, crazy, my grandpa is CLEARLY having a heart attack! One family immediately stopped eating and began praying for him. It was sweet and comforting, but I have never been more scared in my life. The EMTs came and took him out on a stretcher. I knew he was feeling bad since he so willingly left with them. Normally, he would fight and refuse anything like that. It ended up not being a heart attack. In fact, the doctors weren't sure of what cause his chest pain. His Alzheimer's is much worse at night and when he is outside of his normal environment. He spent the night in the hospital telling us that he was leaving as soon as the doctors came in to check on him. When he wasn't arguing, he was asking where he was. I'm convinced that Alzheimer's is the worst disease of all time, and lucky for me, it runs in the family. Put me down Old Yeller style because I refuse to live a life where I can't remember the people I love or the memories I've spent a lifetime making. It's just cruel and terrifying to watch.
He's home now and resting, so hopefully his health will continue to improve.
 I came back from NC and immediately went to Crossfit. I felt jiggly and bloated, but I am back on track now. That's really all you can do. Accept your mistakes and move on. Yesterday I met up with Rachel for what was supposed to be a 12 mile run. I was sore form CF the day before, and I had just eaten a steak salad a few hours before the run. I don't know where my head was eating such a filling meal KNOWING that I was doing a big run later that night. It wasn't a pretty run either. Around mile 4, I could feel the steak inching its way up my throat. It was all I could do to keep it down. At mile 9, Rachel and I decided to only do ten since her half marathon is Sunday and her ankle was sore. I was relieved. My knees have been bothering me since I have been increasing my mileage, so I didn't protest her decision at all. At 9.75 miles, I began to feel the most dreaded feeling that every runner fears the most... my toenail was pulling back. I felt it start to come up a little while I was running in NC. Much like a loose tooth, a toenail can wiggle and take its sweet time pulling off. This was no joke. I laughed about it, but I finished the last quarter mile of the run doing a sort of hop-skip-gallop. It hasn't come completely off but it's only a matter of time.

Speaking of Rachel, she's crazy... in a good way. Rachel and I met in college when we were partnered for a project in some pointless class where were learned to speak in front of a crowd. If you need some motivation to get through just about anything, Rachel is a good friend to have on your side. Not only did she finish college while raising a child, she is the healthiest and most determined woman I've ever known. Rachel and I started running together in April of 2012. She was running a mile or so at a time, and I had just completed 4 miles. She decided to run a 5k in a week and just...did it! Very few people can increase their distance by 2 miles in a week. Two weeks ago, she texted me to tell me that she had signed up for her first half marathon. She is used to running distances but nothing like 13 miles! She had two weeks to prepare, so of course, she has been pounding the pavement like crazy. Her race is tomorrow and I cannot express how proud of her I am. She sets her mind on what she wants to do and never gives up on it. If only I had her drive and self-control... If only we all did! She's truly one of the most inspiring people you'll ever meet. So good luck, Rachel! I am cheering you on every step of the way from home!

Rachel and I completed ten miles for the first time since March last week.

As I am typing this, I'm laying on a heating pad because of my idiotic actions this morning at Crossfit. Today was the Barbells for Boobs WOD. All of the donations raised today were going to the Steel Magnolia support group for women battling breast cancer. If you don't know me, you don't realize how close to home this hits. My mother is a two time survivor of breast cancer. She was first diagnosed when I was in the fourth grade and again when I was a freshman in college. Today was important for me, so regardless of my dangling toenail and achy hamstrings, I showed up. It was really touching to see so many people donating and working out to honor those that are fighting the good fight, those that have beaten it, and the lives that were lost because of this terrible cancer thing. I really wanted to bust out a good time, which made me forget all proper form completely. Anthony, the trainer, always tells me "safety first", but I probably looked like a first timer today. My back is so sore. I've rolled it and now I'm glued to this heating pad. Hopefully, a day of rest is what I need.
I was telling Blakely last night how happy it makes me that I have found a family through Crossfit. People at my old gym kind of revolved around each other. There were a few small cliques, but you really didn't feel comfortable approaching a group or chiming in on a conversation. Crossfit is nothing like that. The people there, coaches and all, are warm and welcoming. We have such a great time and it really makes working out seem less daunting.
Here are some pictures from today. I didn't take them, so hopefully no one will mind me sharing.

Me and Katie post WOD. 

This is our group, well, a lot of us. 

That's all for now. I've got two days to complete the million and one things I put off doing the entire week of fall break. Keep fighting the good fight, friends! 

"Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything"

It's hard to believe it has been two months since my last post. I am still working on accepting the fact that summer is over. Reality came across my face Chris Brown style the week of in-service. The school year has begun, and I have five precious friends in my classroom that have all the potential in the world. I am so blessed to be their teacher. Not only are they learning new things every single day, but they are constantly opening my eyes to new things...new things about each of them and new things about myself. The most beautiful part about teaching is the reciprocal aspect of it all. It is my job to transform these tiny people into productive, independent members of society, but I believe I am the one who learns the most.

This post is difficult for me. I've attempted posting it several time but couldn't quite narrow my thoughts enough to get my point across. I'm sure you're thinking that it is hard to believe Shannon Bridges is incapable of ranting. By sharing what I have been going through lately,  I feel like I am in some way accepting defeat, which I am absolutely not used to. Once August rolled around and I realized that school was just around the corner, I began to panic. I am very much like my students in the sense that I do not adapt well to changes in my routine. I was used to waking up at the crack of dawn for Crossfit, taking my 8 a.m. nap, running, and then working on grad school work or things I could prepare ahead of time for the school year. In-service began mid-August and all of the sudden I began to feel completely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is somewhat of an understatement. Exercise and healthy living was put on the back burner. I was spending 6+ hours at the school everyday. Blakely and I were staying up until all hours of the night working on school-related things. The training I went to over the summer was for setting up a classroom in an entirely different way from what I had last year, so a great deal of preparation was needed for that.
I knew that another semester of grad school was beginning my second day back to work. The thought of getting my classroom set up, my students adjusted, my lesson plans done, and to top it all off, 9 hours of graduate courses was incomprehensible. The only thing I could see in the near future was a 60 pound weight gain and myself buried in candy wrappers in the corner of my classroom. After countless panic attacks and binge eating sprees, I decided that taking a semester off of grad school would be best.
It wasn't easy. It's still not easy for me to accept. Since the death of fat Shannon, quitting has never been an option. In the long run, I know it was for the best. Little did I know that it was God's way of telling me that I would need the time off.
The first week of school I found out my mother had a stroke. She is doing well. The stroke wasn't severe. The doctor explained to me that it had actually happened in the weeks prior to them finding it. Since the stroke, she has been in and out of the hospital with some complications, but her overall health right now is decent. This weekend was my first opportunity to visit since the incident. Her short term memory has been affected. She will get up to do something and forget entirely what it was that she was supposed to do. She also tires easily and has strange spells of numbness in her arms and legs. Fortunately, she was not left paralyzed. She was lucky. I am lucky.

Since the start of the school year and since the incident with my mom, I have been experiencing panic attacks. Anxiety is new to me, so at first, I had convinced myself that I was dying each time they would happen. I have been fixating on work related things or the fact that I missed a run because I have to stay until 5 or 6 o'clock at school to prepare for the next day. My health took the backseat. Instead of pouring my worries and stress into a good workout or run, I turned to Kit-Kats and candy corn as a means for coping. I have continued my workout regiment with Crossfit and the occasional run, but what good is exercise when you come home and immediately throw it all away on junk? I began to see myself differently too. I have heard that people who experience significant weight loss never really accept their new bodies and continue to view themselves as "fat", regardless of their accomplishments. Body complex issues are what I struggle with most. I realize that I look like a different person than the woman I was five years ago. Every eating spree, each bite of something sweet or the least bit unhealthy triggers my panic attacks. Wouldn't it be so simple for me to just give up sweets and junk? Doesn't that seem like the logical thing to do? Logical but unrealistic.

So basically, I've spent the last two months in a fat slump, drowning my sorrows in Halloween candy and ice cream. I weighed myself this weekend, and since March, I am up 9 pounds. That means I have technically only lost 112 pounds... boo-hoo, right?
**Cue the pity parade**

This weekend was a turning point for me. I've put so much stress on myself between my work and my poor eating that I have lost sight of the important things. I had the pleasure of visiting an old family friend this weekend. This woman has been one of my mom's closest friends since I was 6 or 7. Recently, this friend was involved in a bazaar and unbelievably tragic accident. She and her husband were in a parade in Texas when their truck stopped over train tracks. The posts lowered and the bells sounded indicating that a train was approaching. The truck was unable to get off the tracks, and the train came along much faster than usual, leaving the people on the truck with very little time to jump from the vehicle. The train hit and injured all that were in the truck. Our friend, I believe, got the worst of it. She ended up losing her leg and was left with a number of other complications from the accident. She almost lost her life but was able, by the grace of God, to pull through.
I hadn't seen her since in years but she is now living closer to my parents, so my mom insisted that we visit. It has been several months since the incident. She and her husband are living in a gorgeous apartment with plenty of space for her to maneuver in her new, beautiful, metallic orange wheelchair. She gave us the grand tour and we spent some time catching up. I can't remember the last I saw her before this weekend. Sadly, the train accident was not the only tragedy she has experienced this year. She also recently lost her mother. I sat in awe of her. How could this woman experience so much tragedy in such a short amount of time and go on? The fact that she was even able to talk about either of the situations was mind blowing to me because I know that if it were me in her shoes, I wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces. After our short visit, she showed us to the door, hugged me, and told ME what an inspiration I am to her.
Me, an inspiration to this woman?! I still cannot fathom her thought process. She has literally experienced more hardships in the past year than most of us will in our lifetime, and somehow, she manages to wake up every morning and face a new day. She is the epitome of inspiring and is learning to accept her new life while overcoming these tremendous obstacles. How dare I feel sorry for myself. What right do I have to wallow in self pity over eating a couple of pieces of freaking candy? It makes me sick to think about, so no more. No longer will I accept this anxiety over my petty problems. I am threw focusing on the very few negatives things in my life rather than the infinite positives.
I have a beautiful family, a job that I love, and I live an incredibly healthy life. There is absolutely no reason for me to feel this much stress over such insignificant problems.

Starting today, I am focusing on what is important rather than sweating the small stuff. I am determined to spend more time with my loved ones and focus my attention on what matters most. I know this post was depressing, long, and probably a tad dramatic. Rough patches are inevitable. These hard times that I have been experiencing lately are lessons. I live my the notion that everything happens for a reason.  It's time to pick up the pieces and move on, so I'm making a promise to myself to purge the negative and thrive on the positive.

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything". 
-George Bernard Shaw

The dark side of skinny

Happy 4th, everyone! Many of my friends traveled to Downtown Atlanta for the annual Peachtree Road Race. It's kind of funny because last year, I told myself I would build up to a 10k and run it in 2013. I've come much farther than a 10k, but I missed the registration. Apparently the race fills up quickly and by the time I realized I was late, bibs were going online for $150-$200. No thanks. I can run 6 miles anywhere...so that's exactly what I did!

Rachel and I set out this morning on our own Fourth of July 10k. I like to call it Shannon and Rachel's Run for Patriotism and the Shameless Consumption of Not-so-healthy Foods 10k. It was monumental, to say the least. We weren't sure if it was going to happen considering it's been raining off and on for two days now, but the weather held out for the most part! There were a few moments where I thought the bottom would drop out for sure. You know, those light mists that fall just before all hell breaks loose?
I swear the track we ran on was more than 6.2 miles. This was the second time I've run the course, and both times I have ended at almost 7 miles. Either way, it was a fun way to celebrate and burn some calories! It was also my first run with my hydration pack. The heat and humidity have been getting the best of me lately. I've had to cut several of my runs short because I just can't shake feeling like I'm breathing into a plastic bag. Rachel has been running with her hydration belt all summer, and she told me it makes all the difference in the world. I ordered one, and I can't believe it's taken me so long to invest in one! It's a little awkward at first because you have a belt strapped to you with a water bottle sloshing around, but it is definitely worth it. The sun wasn't out today, but I wouldn't have made it without water in this humidity.
Have I mentioned how much I hate the south?

Not only were we both first in our age group, but we took home the whole thing! 

We were sweaty, sticky messes! 

The past two days have been rough. CrossFit has been kicking my butt, to the point of needed to take a day off to recover. My quads and hamstrings have been so tight that transitioning from a seated position to standing is like a two minute ordeal. My love handles are ever sore. How does that happen?! I'm a member of a running blog site, and I sought some advice from runners far more skilled than me because the muscle confusion that I am experiencing from CrossFit is affecting my runs. It's difficult to run distances when a different part of your body aches everyday. Most of them said exactly what I didn't want to hear... that I'm doing too much. I try to go to CrossFit at least 5 times per week. I've been doing two-a-days all summer, and unfortunately, I'm going to have to cut back to allow for more recovery time. 

I've had this blog for a little more than a year. I try to be as candid as possible about the ups and downs of healthy living. Since its creation, I've had people talk to me about expanding my writing. A few people have even asked me if I would ever write a book. With a full time job, graduate school, and training, I have never really given it much thought. The other day I sat down, opened a Word document, and spilled my thoughts onto paper out of pure boredom. I'm not sure what it is, but it's something. I have always tried to explain to people that there is a "dark side" of losing weight. If you think about it, dropping the weight of an average teenager is a total body transformation. The best way I can describe it is like an out of body experience. You begin to look at your self differently, and eventually, other people do too. It's like the old you never existed at all, and it can be difficult to accept this new person that has taken over your body. I say new person because it's never just a physical transformation. The mental and emotional changes that accompany such a drastic physical change are undeniable. Your interests and hobbies change, and you are forced to make sacrifices to become the person you want to be. It can be a little overwhelming at times. If I were going to write a book, it would be about that. The struggles of accepting the physical, mental, and emotional changes of weight loss. Of course, anything I write would ooze vulgarity and profanity, and my obscene sense of humor would be painted in every line. It's something to think about, I suppose. 

I'm not posting any recipes or workouts today. I think holidays should spent with family and friends instead of the gym, and unhealthy choices should be made all day long. Don't be afraid to scarf down a hot dog or three, and enjoy your patriotic desserts because tomorrow, it's back to the grind! 

Becoming a runner

There's a good chance that I've already blogged about some of this information, but I figured it would be helpful to have it all in one post.

Running... the word alone probably sends chills down your spine and aches through your shins. In my fat life, I swore to never run unless it was away from a bear or toward Justin Timberlake. Both of those rules still apply, however, I have developed a love/hate relationship with the activity that cannot be denied. I hate how much I love running. You wouldn't know it since my mileage has decreased so significantly since summer began, but running is still my favorite form of physical activity.

Learning to love running is probably the hardest part because in the beginning, there is absolutely nothing enjoyable about it. Sweat is pouring in your eyes, down your legs, and off your elbows. I didn't even know my elbows could sweat until I started running! Two minutes in, your heartbeat pounds so quickly and loudly that you question whether it's part of the process or if you're making medical history as the youngest person to die of a heart attack. The air around you becomes thick like molasses, and no matter how hard you gasp, you're certain that the air is incapable of making it to your lungs. You're convinced that you're going to fall over dead at any moment, and you'll die alone in the streets of your neighborhood or with your head being repeatedly beaten by the belt of your treadmill. Your knees, shins, and calves ache with each and every step, and you begin talking yourself into turning around and throwing in the towel. Have I nailed it? Did I leave anything out?

There's good news, and there's bad news. The good news is that you've already taken the hardest step: the first one out the door. Getting to a point where you have convinced yourself that running is about to occur is absolutely the most difficult part.

Never in my fat, chocolate fountain filled dreams did I imagine myself earning the title of a runner. I told Kelsey one day that I was interested in it, but it wasn't until months later that I got my fat self on a treadmill and forced myself to try it. Kelsey told me to cover the screen and run until I couldn't... then she stood beside me and watched me do it. By the time I was ready to die, I felt certain I had run for 45 minutes straight on an incline of 10 and a speed of 35 mph. To my surprise, I had only run a little over a mile at a rate of 5.5 and with no incline. I was shocked that I had made it a mile. It took me a little more than ten minutes, but I ran it without walking, which was my goal. At that point, I am pretty sure I had never accomplished anything so profound in my life.

The bad news is that it takes an incredibly long time to adapt, so it's going to suck a lot for quite sometime. I'm a smart girl, so it was difficult for me to accept that panting like a lioness was a normal part of the process. I had a (what I considered to be rational) fear of being out of breath for a long period of time. Let's face it, it's uncomfortable and embarrassing to feel like your moaning and groaning over everyone else; I always felt like it was a sign of weakness to others.
Another fear that prevented me from running was the fear of judgement. I was 200 pounds when I began running, so if I had to compare the happenings of my body to anything, it would be a wave pool or the Pacific Ocean during a hurricane. My stomach hung so far over the top of my pants that I would have had to tape it back if I wanted to convince others that it wasn't there. My entire body jiggled and my thighs slapped together with every step I took, but I learned to stop caring.
Running requires you to give up any and all insecurities and shame you have about yourself if you ever want to benefit from the activity. How many people do you know look good while they run? Better yet, how many people do you know that even RUN? Exactly...

Looking back, I lost the most of my weight after I started running. It took a year before I was ready for a 5k, a year and a half before I began outdoor running, two years for me to run my first 10k, and two and a half to build up to a half marathon. It isn't going to happen overnight. It takes more willpower and self-motivating speech than I ever thought possible, but ANYONE can become a runner. I've been beaten by children, old men and women, and people that weigh two times more than I do, so I refuse to accept excuses from anyone as to why they can't do it.

So here it is, my eight most valuable pieces of advice for those of you interested in running.

1. Set small goals for yourself. Don't set yourself up for failure by convincing yourself that you're going to run a mile straight for your first run. The Couch to 5k program is great for that because it involves walking and running, and you can increase your run time when you feel ready. This method is incredibly effective because you feel like you are reaching your goals quickly, which is very motivating!

2. Prepare your body mentally and physically before running. I still have to do this! Hydrating is, obviously, incredibly important, but chugging a gallon of water right before your run won't hydrate your body. It can take a week or two for your body to be fully hydrated, so put down the Coke and sweet tea! Only allow yourself to have non-water drinks at mealtimes. What you eat will also affect your run. Trust me, I've run on a stomach full of chocolate covered peanuts, and it didn't end well. The right combination of fruits, veggies, and carbs will help with that evil side stitch that always accompanies beginners, and you will feel energized for longer. If I am running in the morning, I try to eat something light and about 45 min.-an hour beforehand.
Food to eat pre-run:
-Half of a grapefruit
-An apple
-Half of a banana
-Toast with peanut butter
-Small serving of oatmeal (I make it with water if I'm about to run because milk is never a good choice if you're about to go running)
-Granola
-Egg whites
-Nuts and berries of any sort!

3. Stop caring about what other people think! You're going to sweat and look like a fish flailing out of water in the beginning, but it will be completely worth it once you've met your goals and you look like Jessica Biel.

4. Invest in running shoes. It took me three years and 6 shots in my foot to understand the importance of a good pair of running shoes. Nikes are the worst, so don't even bother. Brooks are what I'm in now, and I am completely satisfied. My Plantar's Facitis and shin splints are no longer a problem.

5. Have an accountability system. This is important for anyone trying to lose weight, but it is especially helpful for runners. Find a buddy to run with that is around the same level as you. Work together and set mutual goals. My accountability system is Facebook. I post my runs using my RunMeter app so all the world can judge my distance and time. It helps, I promise.

6. In the beginning, don't worry about running for time. No one can run a seven minute mile their first go-round. Don't even think about dwindling down that mile time until you have met your distance goals.

7. Get out of your own head. Physically, it's going to feel abnormal to run. You will try to convince yourself that you should stop, but always remember that the mind tells the body what to do. Once you are at terms with being out of breath and miserably hot, your body will succumb to the distance you're about to destroy! I use a mantra to keep my mind off the run. When I feel tired, I tell myself to "be bold and be strong". Sometimes I start singing along with my music, and other times I just daydream about food. Whatever works!

8. Listen to your body! This is the most important thing for runners to understand, and I had to learn it the hard way. There is a difference between being sore and being injured. There's no shame in cutting your run short if you have injured yourself. There is also no shame in taking a day or two to let your body heal. Yoga will help with the healing, so on your off days, try it!


It's going to take time and a lot of motivational speeches to yourself in the mirror, but I promise it is worth it. Running is my escape. I've cried at every running milestone because I still cannot believe what my body and mind are capable of doing. Don't let embarrassment or doubt talk you out of it.

I love this quote! I hope you experience this one day! 

Tips for strengthening your willpower

This is an excellent Pinterest find, and I think it's excellent advice! 

What doesn't kill you...

Can we take a moment to celebrate the fact that I recently purchased my first single digit-sized article of clothing! That's right! I bought a dress that is a size 8! I haven't worn an article of clothing below double digits since I was in middle school. I'm proud to say the VERY least!

My size freaking 8 dress! Woo hoo! 

Summer is finally here which means staying up late, sleeping in, and eating all the junk food I can get my hands on, right? Wait... It doesn't? Shoot!

I'm dedicating this summer to exercise and finally getting this last six pounds OFF! I know, six pounds shouldn't be that hard. If it weren't for my passionate love affair with all things sweet, I truly believe I would look like Jennifer Lawrence by now... but such is life. I have embraced my addiction, and I am desperately seeking healthier alternatives for curbing my sweet cravings. Any suggestions are appreciated!

Before I get into my health rant, I'd like to brag on Hawaii! Paradise isn't a strong enough word to describe Hawaii. Heaven is more accurate. Beaches, mountains, boats, surfing, and all the yummy food you can get your hands on! If I had it my way, I would have never left. I have been so fortunate to meet a family that has been generous by taking me with them on their exotic vacations to attend to their daughter. Technically, I was working the entire time. Swimming, snorkeling, and sun bathing was incredibly strenuous work and all, but somehow I managed. My favorite part about Hawaii wasn't the picture perfect beaches or the pod of dolphins I swam it. It was undoubtedly the food. Fresh fruit of all sorts, so sweet that it even satisfied my sweet tooth (that's saying a lot). We won't even go into the glutenous fat-fest that took place on that island, but I ran 4 days during the trip and did cross training, so I don't feel that guilty. I can't even describe how incredible it was to run on the beaches there. One of the girls I was with had to work out because she plays college basketball, so I had someone to hold me accountable. We kicked off our shoes and ran along the edge of the water since that sand is much firmer. It was KILLER! My calves, shins, and quads were sore for days. My first outdoor run after returning to Alabama was miserable. Humidity, surprisingly, was not a problem in Hawaii. It was a breezy 75-80 degrees the majority of our trip. I think the heat and humidity in AL is why I am enjoying running less and less.
Here are just a few pictures. Pictures don't do it justice, but you get the idea.

My first time on the beaches of Hawaii!

Haunama Bay. The best snorkeling location EVER!

View from the boat where I swam with dolphins!

On top of a mountain overlooking Oahu

My gym for the day

Haunama Bay

Polynesian Culture Center was another favorite... I'm sure you can see why! 

Trail ride through the hills overlooking the beach

We went to the Paradise Cove Luau. The food, scenery, and show were amazing! 

Coming home was very difficult. I missed Blakely and Marley terribly, but I could have used another week or two in paradise. My intentions were to dive right back into my crazy exercise routine the day after I returned back to the states, but the jet lag I was experiencing was too intense. The five hour time change reeked havoc on my sleeping and eating schedule, so I decided to take Tuesday to recover. I'm not sure if I'm fully back on track even now... I was able to drop 4 of the 5 pounds I gained on my vacay during the first week back. I made sure to drink tons of water and stock up on my fruits and veggies while watching my portions carefully. My body needed a rude awakening, and I think I've finally beat it into submission.

I know, I've heard the news, I'm insane for working out as much as I do. My mom's family is convinced that I have an eating disorder, and I've heard the "you're addicted to exercise" spill more times than I care to count. Let me be clear: I do it because I enjoy it. It makes me feel good and it makes me feel accomplished. There's no disorder or addiction involved. I simply love to work out. Obviously, this won't be my schedule forever. Exercising occupies my time between sleeping, eating, and grad school work. It keeps me from running back and forth to the fridge and rummaging through my pantry trying to find something nibble on every 15 minutes, which I am terrible about. It also prevents me from lounging on the couch and watching Law and Order on Netflix for 5 and 6 hours at a time (yes, I do that too). 

CrossFit has become my new obsession. Maybe I am a little addicted to it, but I can't help myself. It's new and it's like nothing I've ever done. I'm sure I'm not the only person that feels on top of the world every time the WOD is over. The workouts are never long, but I give each of them everything I've got, mostly because I'm paying too much to go at it halfway. Having such a large group of people experiencing the agony you're feeling makes the workouts less terrifying. I leave every workout soaked. My body doesn't sweat during CrossFit, it monsoons, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you are looking for a total body workout, this is it! Before I left for Hawaii, I purchased a heart rate monitor to keep track of my heart and calories. Every morning I leave having burned 400+ calories, and that's in 45 minutes. It's effective, y'all! Clumsy me... I always manage to injure myself with the equipment. Out trainer explains everything so clearly. I'm not sure how I manage to bang myself up so often. The day we left for Hawaii, I bruised my shoulders doing hang power cleans. Today, I push pressed 45 pounds directly into my chin. I dropped that bar because I was seeing stars. My teeth knocked together so loudly that my entire jaw is sore. I might have a bruise goatee, but I killed it today. 

It's much more blue now, but this was taken right afterwards. 

It might be intense and slightly dangerous, but it's worth it! I'm not dead yet, so I have to be getting stronger. 

Here is what's happening in my kitchen this week!

Vegan Banana Apply Chunk Bread

Shrimp with avocado-mango salsa (I'll be using pineapple salsa from Hawaii)

Balsamic grilled chicken

33 Healthier Desserts!

I found this on Pinterest! Hopefully it will help tame this sweet tooth without leaving me feeling like a fatty Patty! 

I found this chart, which is awesome! I am terrible about doing the same ab routine over and over again. 

Workout Labs

This website is the JAM! You have create custom workout routines with picture references to use at the gym. I cannot tell you how many times I write something down and forget how to do it by the time I get to the gym. 

Good luck this week! Remember, results ARE possible if you are willing to do the work and make the changes necessary!