Raising the bar for curvy women

I stumbled across an online interview with Megan Fox the other day that highlighted a quote about how much she "loves her curves". I skimmed the interview and the photos attached, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. Megan Fox is in no way, shape, or form a curvy woman. In fact, Megan Fox could afford to eat a biscuit or two, smothered in gravy and deep friend. Even then, Megan Fox would not possibly qualify as a "curvy" woman. This led me to question society's definition of curvy women. If Megan Fox is considered curvy, I am undoubtably obese by these standards.
I consider myself to be curvy. I have child-bearing hips, thighs that rub together, and a big (and if I might add, phenomenal) butt. If you ran your hands down my sides, you would feel my mounds of muffin top. My size 12 skinny jeans don't hide a single curve, and I wear them proudly. I've earned the title curvy. Megan Fox, by claiming to be a curvy woman, has once again raised the bar to an unattainable level for women. I literally worked my tail off to accomplish curvy, so I am a little offended by Megan Fox claiming this.

Curvy

Definitely not curvy! 

I am a loyal Pinterest-er. My favorite section is Health & Fitness, but I find my image of the ideal woman becoming skewed by it. I never wanted to be muscular when I began my weight loss journey. My only goal for a long time was to get under 200 pounds, and then I was able to set more specific goals from there. It seems like every pin in the Health & Fitness section is a woman with washboard abs or a perfectly toned and perky butt telling me that I can look like that if I commit to whatever ridiculous workout they're advertising. Of course I want to look like those women! They're undeniably sexy, but how realistic is it for me to accomplish that?! Pinterest is plagued with tons of graphics telling readers to "eat clean and train mean" or "train insane or remain the same". As catchy as those sayings are, I find them to be the opposite of motivating. You don't have to be crazy about fitness or commit to a completely unrealistic lifestyle to be healthy. Healthy living is about moderation and doing what's best for you and your body.
Personally, I'm not willing to entirely give up the foods that I love to look like the women I see in movies and in magazines. There's no denying that I put the wrong things in my body from time to time. My mindset really changed this weekend during my race. All I could think for the last few miles was how amazing it was that I was still going after not eating clean all week. I eat candy, I love french fries, and I can run a half marathon faster than most men I know. My BMI is in the perfect range, and I wear the pants size of the average American woman. Tell me I'm not healthy!
Here is a link to an article I found about women who do Crossfit learning to embrace their bodies. It was so refreshing! Most women that Crossfit stop worrying about the number on the scale or how many calories are in each and every bite they consume because Crossfit is all about strength and improving your level of fitness. It was a great read!

5 Ways Crossfit Helps You Embrace Your Shape

This is not me. I found it on a blog last week and I absolutely fell in love with it. I can't tell you how many people, women and men, pass me during my races that are much bigger than me! 

My goal right now is to live an active lifestyle and learn to accept my body for what it is. I also want to be thankful for all it has already accomplished. Curves, rolls, cellulite, and all- I love every flabby bit of it. I'm going to stay away from Pinterest for a while because I'm tired of feeling like all the hard work I've put into my weight loss is meaningless. I'm also going to stay away from all things Megan Fox because she is ignorant.

On a lighter note...
It's the most wonderfully fat and unhealthy time of the year! It's my favorite time of year because like most Americans, I spend the holiday season gorging on candies, pies, and all things terrible. I will more than likely spend the entire month of January regretfully shaming myself for my poor decisions. For some reason though, I feel like this year will be different. Many of my previous posts have been about how I have been working through accepting my body, regardless of it's flaws. I'm learning to live with who I am and part of that is learning to be realistic with my eating and exercise habits.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving- a day devoted to celebrating family and the things we care about most. I could spend my time focusing on the bad decisions I'm going to make, but I much rather center my attention around the memories I'll be making with Blakely's family. I have 363 days in the year to think about the consequences of my unhealthy actions (I am subtracting one for the beast feast that will occur on Christmas Eve). I also have 363 days to make up for them. So tomorrow, eat pie, drown your plate in gravy, and help yourself to a second plate. You have the rest of the year to work it off!

Don't ever forget it! 

Magic City Half

What a week it has been! Let's rewind to last Saturday. I spent the day laying on the couch with my best friend catching up on all of the t.v. shows we missed throughout the week. It was a perfectly lazy day, in fact, I don't think I did a single healthy thing last Saturday. For no good reason at all, I decided I would practice my handstands in Nanci's living room. Nanci is my friend that brings out the childish, immature side of me. When we are together, trouble always follows.
Nanci is a cheer coach. I figured maybe she could give me some pointers since we've been doing handstands more frequently at Crossfit. We practiced all day with only minor injuries. I horse kicked her in the eye but no bruising or major damage. Later that night, CJ stopped by to work on planning Lauralee's bachelorette party. CJ is a fellow Crossfitter from another gym, so I wanted to show off my new skills. I still need someone to hold my feet while I practice them. CJ spotted me and gave me a couple of pointers. By this point, my arms were tired and shaky. I told CJ to let go of my legs so I could rest for a second.
Homegirl just wouldn't listen! I told her again to put me down, and before I knew it, my arms buckled underneath me and my forty-something inch legs came crashing down onto Nanci. I knew immediately something wasn't okay with my arm. I was 99% sure I dislocated my shoulder. I was laughing...and crying...and freaking out because I was in a lot of pain, but I couldn't really measure the severity of it because it all happened so quickly. Usually I can withstand a fair amount of pain. Not this time!
I was going to brush it off and see how it felt in a couple of days. I knew my race was coming up the following weekend but I didn't think a shoulder injury would prevent me from training in the days ahead. I took Nanci to get some food, and as I reached for the bag from the cashier, my arm pretty much gave out. It began shooting pain from my neck, down my arm, and into my fingers. We went to an after hours doctor across the street from her apartment. We explained the situation to the nurses, and they were shocked when we told them no alcohol was involved. Like I said, when Nanci and I are together, trouble always follows. The doctor told me the x-ray looked good. If it was dislocated, it wasn't by the time we got to the doctor's office. He began wiggling it and poking it in all the worst places and concluded that I had strained my rotator cuff. He wrote me a prescription for a sling (which was cheaper OTC) and Lexapro.  The next couple of days were miserable. It's incredibly difficult to teach special ed. with your arm in a sling! Some of my kids are aggressive and some like to run away, so I really had to work to immobilize it. I kicked the sling to the curb on Wednesday. It just wasn't working out. I wasn't sleeping because it was the shoulder I like to sleep on which was causing me to be a MAJOR grouch. My shoulder is back to 100% now... I think.
Fortunately for me, I was able to keep it steady while I ran.

Fast forward to this weekend! Blakely's amazingly wonderful parents bought us tickets to the Alabama vs. UTC game! It was my first AL football game, so I was super stoked! Blakely and I woke up at 6 to leave by 8 in order to meet his parents in Tuscaloosa by eleven.
Poor Blakely, he's so not a morning person.
It was rainy and windy when I walked Marley Saturday morning. I knew it was going to be a loooong and freezing cold game, so I dressed and packed accordingly. Marching band taught me to always travel with spare underwear, pants, and socks in case it rains! The rain let up by the time we got there, thank God! It was a breezy 46 degrees and dropping during the first quarter. By the end of the game, I had no feeling in my toes. My face was numb, and I looked like the Marshmallow man from Ghost Busters I had on so many layers. I don't do cold weather well...
We won, of course! We met his little brother for dinner at Olive Garden. It was perfect since I needed to load up on some carbs before the big race! We had a fantastic time, despite the bitter weather!

Crazy kid forgot his jacket! 

We got back from the game around 9:30. I wasn't expecting to get much sleep last night; I never really do when I have a race the next day. To my pleasant surprise, I passed out immediately upon arrival. However, I woke up several times during the night to check the time. I overslept my first half and didn't want to do it again. I'm the bitteriest Betty when I am late.
I knew it was supposed to be cold today. All I could do was pray that it was only cold and not windy like the day before. The wind was mild, but the temperature was agonizing. Within the first 5 minutes of being outside, I lost feeling in my nose. I only knew that I was snotting all over myself when it would roll down onto my lips (gross I know; no shame).
We arrived in Birmingham right on time and picked up my packet. The Magic City Half is a race that benefits Ruben Studdard's charity for music education. This is the first race I've been a part of where the money goes to a charity I am passionate about. If you know me, music was always a big part of my life! I heard through the grapevine that he was running in the 5k, fresh off his Biggest Loser season! I am a loyal BL fan and have been following his progress all season!
My goals for this race were to:
1. Meet Ruben Studdard
2. Make him horribly uncomfortable so he would remember meeting me!

I got my packet and headed for the bathrooms. Blakely waited around in the lobby where it was warm for me to get done. He sent me a text telling me that Ruben had arrived, so I hauled tail to be the first in line for a picture! He looks fantastic! I would have never guessed he weighed over 400 pounds a few short months ago. I felt really bad asking to take his picture before the race because if he's anything like me, the minutes before the gun fires are spent mentally preparing myself for what's to come. He was only doing the 5k and other people were lining up, so I didn't feel so bad. I opted out of making him uncomfortable. I really couldn't think of anything awkward enough to say on the fly! I thought I had the whole race to prepare something vulgar enough to leave a lasting impression, but I failed!
He seemed aggravated by all of the attention, but as Blakely so loudly stated... "This is your thing, dude". He was the one sponsoring the run. His name is even on the freaking shirt!

THE MAN!

Shortly after this picture was taken, Blakely and I headed to the starting line! The race was supposed to kick off at 8 but didn't start until at least 8:10. We were all a little angry considering it was 30 degrees and windy. I jumped, I jogged, I did everything in my power to warm myself up a little before we started but it was no good. From the moment the gun sounded until the very end of the race, I poured snot. My undershirt became my handkerchief. I hope I'm not the only runner that experiences this! 

I started off entirely too fast! I really didn't set a goal time for this race. I typically aim for 2 hours or less. I joined the 2 hour pace group and decided that I would stick with them as best I could. In the first mile, I passed them with an 8 minute pace. I tried to slow down, but running in the cold is deceptive! I haven't trained in this cold of weather. It throws me off when I'm not sweating and my muscles aren't on fire. I felt surprisingly comfortable at that pace but knew it would not end well if I didn't slow down. 

The next 7 miles were all under 9 minutes! I couldn't believe it considering my norm is around 9:20. At mile 7, I sucked down one of the goo packets they were handing out. I wasn't exhausted, just wanted to see if it would give me a boost. I had two because they were passing them out at each water station. The first one I opened was apple cinnamon. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted and the consistency was thick like Vasoline, so I chucked it. I opened the berry flavored pack, which was much better. I still didn't make it through the whole packet but I could tell I had a little more pep in my step after downing half of it. 

For some reason in the middle of the race, I began crying- not out of pain or exhaustion. My head filled with thoughts of how my life used to be, how four years ago, I would never have dreamed of running a half marathon. It's overwhelming sometimes to think of all I have accomplished in these past few years. I'm proud, but I'm also humbled. I have a great deal of supporters that were so kind of blow up my phone and Run Meter with words of encouragement. Any time I felt tired, I thought of them and why I started in the first place. I want to prove to my loved ones that change is possible. I know you've heard it a million times from a million different people, but seriously... if I can do it, anyone can do it. 

At mile 8, the stitch in my knee began acting up! I had a lot of knee problems when I was overweight. They seemed to disappear when I dropped the excess baggage but occasionally creep up on me when I least expect it. It was painful but not enough to stop, initially. Somewhere around mile 11, the pain became increasingly bad. I had to slow down a good bit. I couldn't get the pain out of my head. It was scary! I didn't want to stop for anything. After several motivational talks with myself, I decided to slow down until mile 13 and bust it out for the last leg of the race. My mile times for miles 11 and 12 were just over 9 minutes. I shouldn't complain because those are fantastic for me considering I NEVER run at that pace. 

Mile 11 was the first and only hill of the entire race. I hate when they do that! It wasn't the worst, but after completing 11 miles, the last thing in the world I want to do is run uphill. It was only a few more twists and turns before I saw the flashing lights and heard the roar of the crowd ahead. I picked up the pace and sprinted to the finish line. I think I sprinted... maybe something like a sprint. It was definitely the fastest I was physically able to run. 

I finished in 1 hour 58 minutes! Just shy of two hours, which was my goal time! 

I was so relieved to see Blakely. Even though two hours had passed, it seemed like forever since I had any human interaction. I got my medal and banana and we headed for the car. I figured I didn't place and even if I did, they'd mail me the medal. All I wanted to do was shove my fat face! 

After gorging on Moe's and my first soda in months, we headed back to Oxford. I couldn't believe how tired I felt. I slept a good portion of the way home. My plans for the rest of the day include laying around and binge watching Dexter on Netflix with Blakely. It's been so wonderful having him around this weekend. His support is overwhelming. For someone that despises all things healthy, he never fails to show his support for me. I always feel guilty for asking him to come to these things, especially when it's freezing outside, but he never complains. Even when his teeth chatter and his nose runs endlessly, he tells me how proud of me he is. Everyone needs a Blakely.

It was a fabulous race. Even though I felt somewhat unprepared, I surprised myself! 

Best of luck to you this week on your journey toward a happier and healthier life! 

My plans include lots of rest and recovery... maybe a little Crossfit! 

I didn't even know I was sweating during the race until I took my jacket off! My undershirts were drenched! 

A Tale of a Toenail

If you're one of those people with a weak stomach, skip this post!

Last year during my half marathon training was when I first realized I had plantars fasciitis. It was the source of some major setbacks in my training, so much so that I took the time to research and seek help from a podiatrist. I don't mind going to the doctor if I am sick, but specialty doctors (especially someone I am going to pay to look at my foot) seem like a waste of money to me. The podiatrist gave me a Cortisone shot in my heel and told me that if I am going to be a distance runner, I better get used to running in pain. I brushed off his advice, laid around for a week to give myself time to heal, and went right back to it. This time around, I find myself pushing through the last 2-3 miles of my big runs with knee pain, throbbing toes, and sore ankles. I sincerely hope this is not my body's way of telling me that it can't take the miles because I just ordered my first marathon training guide!

During mine and Rachel's ten mile run three weeks ago, I felt like my toenail was bending backwards. We were 9.5 miles in, and there was no way I was going to stop with a half mile left. I finished the run with some kind of crazy wobble/limp stride, but I finished it! I couldn't tell if it was swollen or if there was any bruising under the nail so I brushed it off. I continued to run and attend Crossfit. Rachel and I ran eleven miles two weeks ago and the same thing happened. This time, I was only 7 or so miles in when my toe began throbbing. I pushed past the pain and completed the run. When I got home I took my nail polish off to see if there was any bruising because it was throbbing like something tight was wrapped around it. Sure enough, my toenail was completely black underneath.

Blakely, being the incredibly smart man that he is, told me we could relieve the pressure by heating a needle and sticking it through the nail. His dad had done it once before, so I texted him to get the low down on the level of pain we were talking about. His dad told me that I won't feel a thing except relief. I agreed, against my better judgement and all common sense, to let my boyfriend perform voo-doo toe surgery on my in our living room with a pumpkin candle and a sewing needle. He heated the needle until the end of it was orange. I held a pillow over my face because I was too afraid to look. I also told him not to count it down or anything. I didn't want to know it was happening. To my pleasant surprise, I didn't feel a thing. He tried twice but was not able to drain anything from it. No relief for me. I was left with a giant black whole in the middle of my toenail. I could barely sleep because of the pressure I was feeling that night. 

I woke up the next day and my toe was horribly swollen and red. It looked terrible and the pain was worse than the night before. The school nurse told me that it looked infected and told me that the doctor would give my antibiotics to help with the infection. I toughed it out at school and even went to Crossfit that night. One of my friends that is a nurse told me that it might be a good idea to get some antibiotics. It was looking rough by that point. The WOD was a lot of running, which was miserable for me. I didn't want to have to take a week off to see if it would heal, so I left immediately after the workout (I still finished second) and went to the doctor's office. 

The nurses there were wonderful. One of them heard me describing what was going on and came in to talk to me about running. She was running her first marathon that weekend, so we yapped the entire time I was there about our running experiences. She recommended a training guide for building up to a marathon distance, which I promptly ordered upon my arrival home. 

I explained to the doctor that I thought it was caused by the continuous pounding my toe takes against the front of my shoe when I run. He told me that he was going to go in through the whole Blakely made and drain the fluid. He also told me that I would probably lose the nail that week, and since I have a race coming up, he advised me to have it pulled if it didn't come off in the next few days so that I would have plenty of time to heal. I love this doctor. He is the same man that saw me last summer when I passed out running. He always tells me exactly what I need to do to get back to running in the shortest amount of time, and I am SO appreciative of that! 

I laid back and refused to watch him go through my nail with the needle. This time around, I felt every single agonizing bit of it. I am not a huge wimp when it comes to needles. I can handle way more pain that a lot of people, but this straight up hurt! He cultured to to see what kind of infection we were looking at and wrote me a prescription for antibotics. Even though it was painful, it was incredibly relieving to have the fluid drained. 

Sure enough, four days later I lost the nail. It's horrifying and completely unattractive, but I wear it as a badge of honor. Only the most dedicated runners lose nails. I ran 8 miles the other day and didn't feel a thing. To my surprise, the sensitivity that he told me I would feel wasn't there. I wrap it up everyday and make sure to keep it clean. Hopefully it will grow back so I won't have to paint the skin for Laura's wedding. 

Last night I went out with the lovely ladies of Stoked Crossfit. We had a fabulous time chatting about horribly inappropriate topics at a ridiculously loud volume. It was fun getting to know new people. The majority of my friends are male, so it was a nice change to hang out with ladies that share my love of Crossfit and vulgarity. We ate all sorts of terrible things and stayed out entirely too late, but it was a great time! When I got home and took my boots off, I noticed my pinky toe was swollen... and disfigured. I think it's broken :(. I also think it's from running. I won't see a doctor because I have broken toes before. All you can do is tape them together and move on. It hurts but not badly enough for me to stop working out. 

My podiatrist wasn't lying. I guess I'm going to have to accept running in pain and with all sorts of crazy injuries. My big race is just a week away. I am terrified and excited at the same time. I feel like I have done less running to prepare for this one, but I feel better during my long runs than last time. Before my first half, I was only running to get ready for the race. This time around, I have been alternating between running and Crossfit. Most days we run during the workout at Crossfit. I try to do those shorter runs at a faster pace than I'm used to. I've also been dedicating one day a week to sprints and stadiums. It's never fun and I am miserable to entire time, but I can feel my endurance improving. My long runs aren't nearly as difficult as they were for me in March before the Tuscaloosa Half. Like I said, I am excited and terrified at the same time. This week will be full of clean eating and light runs. I can't decide if I want to go to Crossfit at all because I am so worried about injuries before race day. Let's be real... I'll probably still go :). 

Motivation for your Monday

I've seen many bloggers post weekly with inspiring stories centered around their friends' and readers' accomplishments. It goes without saying that I am overwhelmingly motivated by each and every person that has taken the time to contact me to let me know that in some crazy way, I've inspired them.
When I first began this blog, I posted about the people in my life that inspire me to continue this rigorous and completely insane journey that I set out on 4 years ago. My family, my boyfriend, and my friends are my motivation for living a healthier lifestyle. Five years ago, I was obese, lonely, and headed toward a slew of health issues stemming from my poor health habits.
Since middle school, I have considered the backbone of every single decision I've made to be the students I work with. Obviously, I wasn't a teacher throughout middle school and high school, but I generated the most creative excuses for ditching my classes early in order to spend time with my friends in the special education classrooms. The Friends Club was my reason for becoming a teacher. The people I met and the lessons I learned shaped me into who I am today.

I have been working with individuals with intellectual disabilities for over 13 years now. It's the only profession that I ever even considered. It is difficult to explain if you've never known a person with a disability but their determination for succeeding in everything they do epitomizes inspiring. Expectations are pointless in this field; they're constantly shattered.
My fondest memories in high school were not of my own prom or football games with the band. When I look back to my high school days I think about taking the Friends Club to Special Olympics or the annual dance we threw for them each year. Those were absolutely the happiest times in my life.
Now that I have my own classroom, 5 tiny humans that I am so fortunate to call my own, I am still floored by their ability to meet and exceed my expectations. My students are my motivation for everything I do. I owe it to them to be the best person, teacher, protector, and friend I can possibly be.
They are my motivation each and everyday.

A very inspiring story showed up on my Facebook news feed yesterday. The headline read "First person with Down Syndrome Crosses the NYC Marathon Finish line". I was taken back. People with Down Syndrome typically suffer from heart complications and obesity. Jimmy Jenson not only finished, but cheered on his competitors as they passed him along the way. He and his best buddy completed the race in just over 8 hours. If this doesn't motivate you, then I don't know what will.
This is one of the most inspiring people I've ever seen. I am so happy for the attention he is getting because it truly is a remarkable story. Like I said, expectations are pointless.

Today.com's Story on Jimmy

What to expect

Fall has to be every runner's favorite time of year. Until this week, I've taken complete advantage of the cool weather. This week has been somewhat of a recovery week for me. I injured my back last Saturday at Crossfit. For the first part of the week, I could barely bend over, which was horribly inconvenient considering my job requires so much of me physically.

I have slowed down over the last two weeks to make sure I give my body time to recover. As much as I preach about listening to your body, I sure do suck at it. Back injuries are no joke. I've given myself time to heal and I'm back in the game starting today.

I found the absolute BEST health blog of all time. I think I enjoy it so much because the author is around my age and has a passion for running. She is hilarious, insightful, and her advice and workouts are superb! Check out Katy Grace here: Fit Personality
She did a Q&A with one of her readers discussing the changes that happen to your body when you finally kick the weight to the curb and begin to physically see the progress you've been so desperately working toward. No one is asking me any questions but I thought it would be fun to talk about! It might also give you a little extra boost of motivation to think about what's in store for you once you begin your transformation.

For women, the first thing to go are the chesticles. Women fitness magazines and websites preach, preach, preach about increasing cardio workouts if you are a woman trying to lose weight. I did as I was told and began step aerobics and kick boxing 3-4 times per week. I am sure I've talked about my love for both activities. If you have never done either,  you should be forewarned that there is an awful lot of bouncing involved in both, so naturally, there is a great deal of bouncing taking place in the chest area. Those things just bounce away. There's nothing you can do to avoid it, so if you are particularly fond of your lady lumps, you are out of luck!

The next thing to change drastically was my face. I get such a kick out of looking through old pictures and pictures along my weight loss journey because it's like my face is literally melting away. I was never fond of my chin when I was large and in charge. My face is shaped like a crescent moon and I never thought my chin was meant to be part of such an oddly shaped face.
Here is a picture that I made about two years into my transformation. The first picture was taken in 2007, and the next one in 2009.

My brow was so heavy when I was overweight. My nose was even bigger. You can't really tell it in the first picture, but I had a pretty serious double chin. 

Here is a pretty recent picture of my face. 

My apple cheeks are less apple-y, and I feel like my eyes have gotten bigger with less weight forcing them  down. 

You don't really think about how much weight you carry in your face. It's evident to me that I lost it in my forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. 

Obviously, you're abdomen is going to change. That's the point, right? During my high school years, my not-so-guilty pleasures were ice cream, sodas, fast food, and candy. I consumed ALL of these things almost everyday, so there was never any wonder as to why I was SO overweight. 

This was taken in 2005, my senior year of high school. Pre-college days, so I wasn't even at my heaviest in this picture. As you can see, my stomach is pouring out of my skirt over the top of my waistline. The day I could fit my jeans over my stomach, I cried. I didn't understand the importance of toning while losing weight. I really did myself a disservice by not working on my core. I'll get there. I'm  still a work in progress. 

One of the most important things for me was losing the weight in my arms. Let's take a look at these bad boys, circa 2007.

I cringe every time I look at this picture. 

Absolutely no definition. I wore tank tops, against my better judgement, and my sweet friends never had the heart to tell me just how terrible I looked in them. I think I even wore a strapless dress once. My friends are obviously not shallow people. When I first began working out, I lifted very rarely. Pinterest didn't exist at that time. I really didn't have a solid understanding of what I needed to be doing to lose weight, I just knew that cardio was working, so I stuck to it. If I could go back in time, I would have lifted like a machine. Now that I have shed a good portion of the weight in my arms, I lack the definition I so desperately want and struggle to tone the skin underneath. I can tell my strength has improved, but I could have beautifully sculpted arms had I invested in them from the beginning. Learn from my mistakes, people. Ladies, you will not bulk up like a man from lifting weights. DO IT! 

Everything changes when you lose weight. Everything. I have found it difficult to accept this new woman occupying my body because I don't recognize her. It's exciting and scary at the same time. 

This post is probably a little vain. It is always fun to look back at old pictures when I feel like I don't have any more fight left in me. When I'm knee deep in Halloween candy wrappers and wallowing in self-loathing and regret, I look back at these to remind myself why I started in the first place. I wasn't healthy. I was on a death march living that life. I can't imagine myself now had I not opened my eyes to the terrible road I was headed down.

 It takes time, a lot of time, but it is always worth it in the end. Do it slowly. Crash diets are only temporary because you don't have time to learn to be healthy. 

I've said it before: it's a lifestyle change.