Sunday, June 29, 2014

The break up

In January, my box (Crossfit gym, get with it!) decided to participate in the 30 day Paleo challenge. Being a distance runner, I knew it wouldn't be a good time because carbs are key for fueling my long runs. Oatmeal was my go-to breakfast as a runner. I made it with rolled oats, honey, a mashed banana, peanut butter, and cinnamon. I miss it! It's like a relative that's passed. Some days are easier than others...
My friends were seeing incredible results during the Paleo challenge, and the one's that continued past the 30 days continued to lose weight and increase lean muscle mass.

When I start being less fat, my only goals were related to numbers.
I wanted to weigh 180... then 175... then 160 (which I never even got to because I realized it wasn't about the number after I began Crossfit and gained more muscle).
I wanted to run 3 miles... then 5 miles... then 10 miles... then a half marathon.
I was seeing fantastic results with just running and a few exercise classes here and there. My entire workout regiment was devoted to cardio, and that worked for a long time.

Recently, my goals have changed entirely. During my early life crisis this past semester, I struggled a lot with the fact that the number on the scale were increasing, regardless of the fact that I was running 20-30 miles a week AND attending Crossfit classes 3-4 times per week. I couldn't wrap my head around it, but it was the root of a lot of my anxiety. I feared that I would revert to my old, fat self.
One of the biggest changes I've experienced since beginning weightlifting is the urge to eat constantly. My body craves protein to repair the muscles I break down with each workout. Once I realized the reason I was constantly seeking food, I began more in-depth research on the benefits of a Paleo diet.

Being a teacher, I am on my feet all day. I eat breakfast at 5, a snack at 8:30, lunch at 10:50, another snack at 3, and then dinner by 7. My day revolves around thinking about when and what I'll eat next. #confessionsofafatty (seems appropriate)
It became VERY clear to me that my intense exercise regiment was not the problem. My eating habits were killing me. My meals are always very well portioned and healthy. I am a lover of all vegetables and fruits. I eat the appropriate serving size of meat, unless it's General Tso's chicken, but let's not go there...
Sweets are my weakness. I love chocolate like I love my dog. If you told me that I had to choose between giving my pup away or never seeing a single piece of chocolate again, I would need an obscene amount of time to weigh my options. I don't discriminate, though. Chocolate is my favorite, but sweets of any kind ignite record breaking binge eating sprees that are so raunchy they should be televised on HBO. A single bite of anything with sugar in it will only fuel the fire.
It took months for me to accept the fact that I was going to have to change my eating habits if I was going to continue to see results.

My biggest fear with trying Paleo was that it would have a negative impact on my ability to run. I can no longer eat grains or legumes, which mean I am having to eat starchy vegetables and carb-rich fruits to make up for fact that I can't down a bowl of oatmeal or eat a plate of spaghetti the night before a big run. I found this to be very helpful!


I don't know if it's because I enjoy the social atmosphere so much at my box or because it's humid as Hades here in Alabama, but I have little to no desire to run most days. I have been throwing myself into Crossfit by attending 4-5 classes every week. My goal for the summer was to alternate my mornings between running a shorter distances (2-4 miles) and swimming, and then attended CF in the evenings. However, I cannot seem to get myself going in the mornings like I am used to. Two summers ago, I was up every morning to run 5-6 miles before 7. Last summer, I attended the 5:15 a.m. CF class every morning, and I usually ran 4-5 miles every other day in addition to Crossfit. I go to bed with the best of intentions, but that alarm goes off and I lose all motivation. Am I breaking up with running? 

The mere thought of running 6 miles right now makes me cringe. How was I able to do it before? I looked back at my run calendar from last year, and on this day last summer, I ran 10 miles! I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. 
Needless to say, I am having an incredibly difficult time embracing this change. Running is what got me here. I used to look forward to exploring the streets, the recovery smoothies, and the fact that I could run the length of this town in under two hours. It's scary because I am so appreciative of all that running has done for me, but I am completely burned out. I haven't given it up entirely. Don't get me wrong, regardless of the complaining and griping I do before each run, I am still running 3-4 miles every other day. I have learned to love my treadmill again.
Since we moved to a new apartment, I am not able to step outside and take off. I would probably be run over my a jacked up truck speeding through these curvy country roads at 60 mph. There is no where safe to run around me, so I have to drive to local parks. They're not far, but it makes it very hard to stay motivated when you have to get up and drive somewhere else. 
I have also been breaking my runs up into more Crossfit-style workouts. Since distance running on a treadmill for 30-40 minutes straight sounds like the worst form of torture imaginable, I stop between each mile and incorporate some form of strength training. 

Here are some examples:
Run 3 miles
Between each mile: 15 push ups, 20 plank rows, 30 bicycle crunches

Run 4 miles
Between each mile: 20 leg lifts, 30 mountain climbers, 1 minute plank 

It's not so bad, and it's not infinity degrees! I still rain from head to toe, but the humidity is what makes summer running in the south so unappealing. 
I'm learning to adapt to the new changes. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. My dad made an excellent point: I'm still being mindful of my health and I am still very physically active. There's no harm in change. 
So maybe when fall comes around I'll start training for a few long distance runs, but I can't promise anything. For now, I am sticking with what I enjoy. 

Blakely brought this home from work last night: 

I look forward to spending the rest of the day by the pool, making a menu for this week! Eek! 





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